Kimmee, meet Franklin... Mountains!

So our first exploration of El Paso led us to the Franklin Mountains. We rode around in the car first until we came to the Aztec Caves trail, where we got out to walk around. A quarter of the way up the trail we were hurting, out of breath and second guessing. I could see the mouth of the caves when I zoomed in with my camera and I wanted so badly to make it up there, but there was just nooo freakin' way!

Firstly, I was wearing a pair of thin ballet flats and it was a miracle I had even made it up the trail as far as I did, especially at the incline! Secondly, we had no water and thirdly, the boys were both wearing shorts (and Texas is notorious for spurs and burrs on every plant and bush that grows). So we turned around and headed back down the trail with the promise of going back the next morning. I made a promise out loud that I would make it up to those caves.


The next morning- take two- we woke up early, pulled on our best hiking clothes (I, in particular, donned my favourite Wonder Woman tee shirt for inspiration), the husband filled up a backpack with water and we were off. The first quarter of the trail seemed much, much longer than it had the day before. I don't know why, but it did. We ended up stopping at every possible rock, bench, tree, whathaveyou to breathe and take a drink. I kept pausing with the excuse of wanting to take a picture- but in reality my thighs were screaming OHHHHMYYYYYYGOOOOOOOOD! I'm sure Habibi could tell. I did get some pretty awesome pictures, though.


Halfway up the trail, it started getting steeper and steeper, and I started having to use my hands to pull myself up. Several times I even had to use the hubby as a counterweight to pull myself up. Three quarters of the hike, I started to really feel the burn. My feet were hurting so badly (FYI, Reebok Easy Tones are NOT ideal for a mountain hike, but they're the only thing I own other than ballet flats and flip flops) I was tired and just wanted to stop and sit. But the caves were right there. It was so hard...

There's a point in natural childbirth where the labor is so intense and the pain is so overwhelming that the mother cries for relief or says "I can't! I can't do it anymore!" and the reality is that when she's reached that point, it means she's literally at the very peak and, if she can just hang on, it's about to be over. All downhill from that moment, like the tippy-top hill of a rollercoaster. Some women end up breaking down, some hold on and push through it. The same can apply to so many things in life (exercise, tattoos, relationships...) and right then, at that spot on the trail, I thought about it. I could tell Habibi I was done and tired and couldn't handle it anymore. We could just head back down the trail... or I could push up just that last quarter of the way and run into those caves a la Rocky and be proud of myself for doing what I had set out and promised myself I'd do for me.

I really, really wanted to stop. I mean I felt the corners of my eyes burning like I just needed to squeeze out a few tears. I reasoned with myself. The caves were right there. Right there. And if I turned back and went down right then, I'd just have to do it all over again. Plus, I'd be really disappointed in myself for not keeping the promise I made, not only to me, but in front of my husband and son. So I got up and asked Habibi to hold my hand as a counterweight while I used my other hand to hold onto the ground and continue up the trail. When we were almost to the caves, my little Chuugie started yelling "Come on, Momma! We're almost there! You can do it! Come on, Momma!" Oh man, nothing like your kiddo cheering you on to make you really push for it. When I made it up into those caves, I drank a big bottle of water and sat down with the biggest smile on my face ever and looked down the trail at the tiny little speck that was our big, monstrous SUV. I did it. I DID IT!


Man, I was so proud of myself... until the husband said "Let's climb up around the side of the caves to the very top!" ...WHAAAAAT? Ugh. Suddenly my pride and happiness became exhaustion. So there we went, trying to climb up and around the side of the caves- Chuugie and Habibi leading the way and I, suddenly very tired, dragging behind and trying hard to keep up. The side of the caves were much steeper and my shoes kept sliding around (again, Reebok Easy Tones are NOT ideal for hiking up a mountain).

I started whimpering and whining and, after a while, sat down and refused to budge. I felt very much like a toddler and was even a little ashamed of myself. Habibi looked down at me and asked me if I really couldn't do it. I felt guilty. No... I knew I could do it. The fact was that I was way too tired and my shoes were not appropriate for the steepness that the final climb was. But I stood up and started to climb again... and then I realized how hard it was going to be for me to turn around and go back down without any grips on my shoes.


I stood there frozen with my hands extended, gripping the side for several minutes, thinking... and then I shook my head and yelled that I couldn't do it anymore. As I scooted back down on my butt (the way we used to scoot down stairs as babies), I felt awful. I could have done it if I really wanted to. After all, I had really wanted to make it to the Aztec Caves and I did. But that's just it. I hadn't planned to climb all the way to the peak. I hadn't wanted to. I had only wanted the caves, and I had gotten them. There was no shame in turning back, since I had already completed my task.

The hike back down was awful. While it was much faster, as gravity tends to really yank you down when hiking downward, my feet felt horrible and my hips were so sore it was taking me forever to take downward steps and jumps. I didn't even have the energy to whine. All I could think was getting back to the car, getting in the tub and making the hubby massage my legs and feet (which he did, by the way). We were so ready to get back to the car, that we passed up every opportunity we had taken on the way up to sit down for a drink of water. I laughed to myself about that. I was focused on the car. Car, car, car, got to get back to the car...


When we made it back home, I felt gross. My hands were dirty, feet and hips were sore, head was pounding, but I kept thinking "WOW, I climbed up a mountain today..." Granted, it wasn't a HUGE mountain. I believe we were at 700 feet elevation from what the map said. But that's MAJOR for someone like me; 5'3", a size 14/16 with a need to lose about 50lbs who has never climbed anything with the exception of a rock wall once at our home heritage festival. Yeah. Suddenly 700 feet seems pretty awesome, right? Told you.


Unfortunately, when I took off my clothes to climb into the bathtub, I was in for a nasty surprise... It seems the fact that I wasn't wearing the appropriate shoes for the hike had caused some damage to my feet... and by damage, I mean my big toenail on my right foot had broken off. I had a toenail-less big toe. I was so upset. I'm still pretty upset. I mean... I love my toes. I have pretty toes and pretty feet and I obsessively paint my toenails every few days. I mourned the loss of my big toenail for a while, then I hijacked out first aid kit, wrapped my toe in several of my son's camouflage bandaids and promptly told my husband to "check out my camo-toe" (which sounded really dirty when I said it and caught him off guard.)

We're going back to the Aztec Caves again next Saturday (not this Saturday... I'm in WAY too much pain to even think about it)- this time with a couple of friends we made while Habibi was in AIT who also got stationed out here at Bliss. Thankfully this time I'm prepared! I'm armed with a brand new pair of hiking boots (courtesy of Habibi, who felt really, really bad about my toenail...), my "camo toe" and some serious bitchassedness. I'm going to kick that mountain's ass.


By the way, anybody know how long it's going to take to grow my poor toenail back? =( It feels wrong to paint only 9 toenails... So I think I'll wait until I can paint them all again.