Love, Marriage and Overcoming

Habibi and I

Habibi and I have been married for five long years today!

YAAAAAY!

Thank you, thank you!

So, I wanted to type this blog because of a conversation I just had this morning with a fellow Army Wife via Facebook about our marriage, about how things played out and about how it contributes to our marriage today. It seemed to give her some comfort and peace about her own marriage, which was fairly similar to our own.

The story of our marriage sounds like something out of a Shakespearian play (without the dying); boy meets girl, boy asks girl to marry him, boy and girl plan the perfect wedding, boy leaves for the military with the promise to marry girl upon his return... then military tells boy he cannot marry girl without their counseling and approval. So one day before boy has to return to training from holiday leave, he and girl decide to bury their wedding plans and elope. Boy returns to training happily married- eh, gets into a little trouble... but in the end, their love conquers all.

My old bouquet in a shoebox

I feel sad sometimes, looking back on how our married ended up happening. There were many things I didn't care to even bother with in my life; a sweet sixteen, senior prom, high school graduation... but I really, truly in my heart, looked forward to and dreamed about my wedding day. The reality is that most military wives' marriages begin with an elopement. Honestly, this bothers me. I mean, if that's how you wanted it to be then of course! You're doing it the way you wanted it! But to give up such a huge childhood dream that almost every little girl has at some point or other just seems so... well... unfair. And then there's that one person who wants to make you feel better about it by telling you "Well, you guys can just save up to have a renewal wedding!" Sure! That works. We can do that! 

When I, myself, was given that advice, I forgot all about the fact that I'd just been married in a small 8x8 office on the third floor of our city's courthouse without any of our friends and only a few immediate family members to witness it and nothing more than a rose bouquet my mother picked up from the floral shop on the corner and a couple of fuzzy, yellow-tinted indoor snapshots... and looked forward to the day we could celebrate our love and life with everyone. But it's been five years and, very much like the Adventure Savings the old man and his wife began collecting in the movie "UP", any money we ever managed to save for such a day has been drained by emergency after emergency.

While I still daydream about what our wedding would have been like- and some days I just feel absolutely upset and cheated over it, over time I've begun to look at it from a different view- my "Shakespearian-Minus-The-Death" view explained above- which makes me appreciate our marriage and our life together so much more. Our story began with overcoming- not letting the circumstances we found ourselves in pull us apart- and it makes me believe that no matter what, we always have the power to continue to overcome. When the world seems hopeless and reality is beating at our door, I can remind myself of what we've overcome over these last five years since that first day in the courthouse and know that it's just another obstacle to push through together, which is the absolute best philosophy to have adopted as a military wife- considering our daily stresses. We may not have had our dream wedding, but that day means so much in our marriage.

Sending out plenty of good luck, understanding, communication and love dust to the rest of you Military Wives out there!

We're currently home in New Orleans for our holiday leave, which means Habibi's parents are taking the kiddo and I'm about to get up and go get ready to go out to dinner at one of our favourite little hole-in-the-wall places (plus Smoothie King for dessert! Yes, I'm a woman of simple taste.) and then spend the rest of the night snuggling my husband. <3